Sex Talk with Dr Mading Wa – How to set the mood
Read the french version here
Mbembe Kiri! Dr Mading here, today in the Sex talk we’re going to talk about setting the mood right. A lot of people neglect this part of their sex life and they shouldn’t. When it comes to sex, the body is like a Diesel car: it needs to warm up before taking the road. The warm up is important for both men and women. But it is also a double edge sword. Warm up too much and you burn out quick. Don’t warm up enough, you’re done before even starting (premature ejaculation). So here are a few tips to help you set the mood right and burn a steady flame that will keep you going. Let’s have the talk.
The before: Flirting
Sex for men start at the physiological level. On the other hand for women, it starts at an emotional level. That’s why women can forget what you do, but they will never forget how you made them feel; therefore the golden rule is to make them feel good. [If you apply this statement to your love life, you’ll always win with women]. Sex should be the last thing on your mind. Start by stimulating her brain. Text her throughout the day. Ask questions that matter: How did your presentation go? Did you finish that document you were working on?. Note that some questions are better than others but they have to be asked properly: “I know you’ve been busy all day, do you need me to bring anything for lunch?” Showing you care makes the ladies feel good. (if you mean it, it’s even better). Then the real seduction comes in: “I’ve been thinking about you all day”…type of text. If you keep the stimuli going all day, the night will be extraordinary.
Flirting with guys is a bit different. Again, they think with their body so things like “I can’t wait to see you tonight” or “I’m not wearing any panties” (even if you are) will get their mind racing. Or if you want to win them over, before you talk about your panties, do a quick search on the web on some news about their favorite football player, then text them about it or about anything your man is passionate about. Engage them that way, and you will definitely win cool points that you can cash in later that night.
The main act: sensory overload
Take your time. Women require a bit more attention to get started. Preliminaries are important. Caresses, massage, oral sex…the list is long of what you can do to arouse your partner. Ladies, when “handling” your man, make sure to keep eye contact with him. Learn how to read his face and recognize the sounds of lovemaking that means you’re doing good. Same goes for men, keeping eye contact with your woman will tell you when it’s real. Don’t get offended if she fakes it, it happens. And if it happens, it means you didn’t care or wanted to care about her pleasure.
On a side note: Keeping the engine running during the act requires dexterity, and the truth is practice makes perfect. I’ve heard complains from men when their girlfriend has too much experience (obviously they complain after enjoying the experience). Saying stuff like “le kilometrage est trop élevé”. Guys, one thing that women will never tell is the exact number of men they’ve slept with (unless if she’s a virgin) and most inexperienced guys don’t want virgins. So why the double standard? So don’t ask. Just enjoy the fruits of all her practice leading to you. You’re the person she wants to be with right now. Why worry about the past?
The after: cuddling.
This has been a debacle for many generations. Do you or do you not cuddle after sex? Well i’m here to tell you that cuddling is like getting a jump start on the next session. Whether you had time do it once, or you did it all night, cuddling is like saying: “hey, great job out there on the field. See you next time”. Cuddling is also important because that’s where you learn how to improve your game. Asking things like “I saw your eyes lit up when I…[insert sexual act here] Did you like that? what else do you like?” Asking questions keeps you ahead of the competition.
There you have it, get out there and set the mood right for tonight. If you do it right you’ll have a great Friday night ahead of you. Also, above all, make sure to protect yourself. Life is too short to risk anything just for a few seconds of pleasure. Be wise, wear a condom.